Nicholas J Graham

A Letter to My Donor

I sent this letter to my donor a few days ago:

Dear Donor:

To say “thank you” seems somehow off-the-mark, given the fact that your generosity of time and energy is what has kept me alive this last year and a half.  Nonetheless, I will say “thank you” and that I appreciate what you have done for a fellow stranger.  You have not only helped me in my treatment of my cancer, but have made a wife and 2 little boys very happy to still have their husband and daddy around.

A little about me: I have been married for 9 years and have two sons, ages 17 months and 5 ½ years old.  My youngest was born at the same time that I was in the hospital post-transplant with your stem cells!  Crazy how life takes us on these twisted paths.  I would have never guessed that I would have ended up here, but here I am.

I was diagnosed with cutaneous T-cell lymphoma in 2006, a very rare cancer that produces tumors and lesions on the skin.  Mine came about very aggressively and with all of the treatments that we threw at it, none had much of an effect except full-body radiation.  After that pushed the cancer back, the only hope for survival was deemed to have fresh stem cells from a matched donor.  While there have been many side effects that have come on since the transplant, I am very fortunate to have been matched to yours as that led to a fairly uneventful procedure (you certainly do not want anything too exciting to happen with any of this! Easy and boring is the way to go).

I work as a Human Resources manager for a medical education company, that of all things trains physicians on the latest treatment modalities in cancer, even specifically lymphomas like mine!  My employer has been very gracious and allowed me to have spent up to 14 months out of work while I prepared and had the transplant last year.  Again, the hardest part has not been the actual transplant but the side effects ever since then.  I can hardly complain and would like for you to know that your selfless act has transformed my life and those around me.  You have touched hundreds of people in ways that you couldn’t possibly know, all for the better.  I maintain online blogs that thousands have read; many have been sending you prayers and wishes for good fortune for the better part of 2 years now.

I have wondered often who you are and what you are doing.  At the minimum, I can say that I wish you well in all that you do.  Your very act of going to the doctor and having the procedure to remove the stem cells has so immensely affected my life that I can’t overstate what you have done for me.  In the truest sense, you are my angel.  I know this may all sound a bit creepy and such, but while there may have been other matches, you in particular held out for me and set aside time to help out a complete stranger.  To get even weirder for a moment, your DNA is in my soft tissues and thus we have the same blood in us!  It’s not misleading to say that I will always have you around with me!

Anyway, without knowing you it’s hard to know how to approach this letter and try and connect with you.  I hope I haven’t offended you in anyway.  I am merely grateful for your actions and hope to have further correspondence with you.

All my best,

Your recipient